Why 90% of your happiness depends on knowing
how to Get Smart With Your Heart - By Suzanne Lopez

GET SMART WITH YOUR HEART: The Intelligent Woman's Guide to Love, Lust, and Lasting Relationships
by Suzanne Lopez, M.S., M.FC.C. (A G.P. Putnam's Sons Book; April 1999; $24.95 U.S./$34.99 Canada) is the definitive handbook for designing and creating the relationship you want. Introducing the Smart Heart Partnering Process, psychotherapist Suzanne
Lopez shares this proven, effective approach utilized by hundreds of clients over the past twenty years. The Smart Heart Partnering Process is a program that gives women practical tools for making systematic, conscious choices that support who they are, their lifestyles, and their goals
and values. Using the Smart Heart Partnering Process, women will consciously evaluate, design, and create a new strategy for assessing relationships.

By using the Smart Heart Partnering Process, you can find what answers to these questions mean:

·Am I seeing this guy clearly as who he really is, or am I letting hope and hormones disguise someone who is really a bad bet?

· Am I settling for the wrong man out of misplaced feelings or fears?

· Am I hooked on this guy simply because I have had great sex with him?

· Do this man and I have compatible personalities?

· Are we in the same developmental stages in life?

· Do we share the same goals and values?

· Do we even enjoy many of the same things?

Suzanne Lopez has created a practical guide in aiding the developmental stages of relationships and gives sound advice by pointing out potential mistakes that occur in negotiating the developmental stages in relationships. Some of the insightful advice she shares is as follows:

If you're falling into bed, then falling in love, stop!

Although we may be bright, intelligent women, once we have had sex with a man, we stir up a chemical cocktail that causes us to bond with him. Despite the fact that we know he isn't right for us, when we can't seem to let him go. According to research, the same hormone that women secrete when they breast feed is also secreted during sex. This hormone, oxytocin, is stranger than crazy glue and can cause a woman to behave irrationally, making choices which reflect neither her intelligence nor her own best interests.


There Is Nothing More Romantic Than A Relationship That Works!

90% of a woman's happiness depends on making the right partner selection. Nonetheless, most women generally spend more time, energy, and effort carefully planning their careers and spiritual paths than they do on creating, designing and forming their intimate relationships. You can love your work, your kids, and your life, but if you have a jerk at home, you can count on being miserable.



Sex Stinks!

Although, as humans, we don't froth at the mouth, mad with sexual desire or an Irresistible sexual compulsion, our sexual pheromones stimulate us as humans in behaving more sensually than sexually, creating the experience~ that many describe as "wow, I feel as if I've known you forever even though we've only just met!"



Marriage Is Not A Dirty Word

If you want to get married, don't let anyone convince you that marriage is a dirty word. Many women today who consider themselves liberated feminists suffer from the sneaking feeling that marriage is an institution created by men for the benefit of men, at the expense of women. What has become clear is tat it is not the institution of marriage which is the culprit, but rather the way women unconsciously go about getting married, as well as to whom they get married, that is to blame for past relationships disasters.



Decide, Design, Declare, Act and Risk: A Smart Heart Woman's Foolproof Formula

Whether you are dating for pleasure and companionship, or if marriage and familyis your objective, you need to follow these steps to create conscious partner selection.



1. Decide what you want (whatever is right for you).

2. Design your plan, keeping your objective in mind at all times.

3. Declare your plan to your friends, family, and most importantly the people whom you are dating, as welt as to yourself, perhaps by writing it down.

4. Take Action. Action, action, action. Move your feet! Move out the door. Do everything you can to meet new people.

5. Take risks, over and over again, each time being open to the outcome, not attached to it.



Suzanne Lopez has found that often women start out thinking that they desire a certain outcome, yet when they finish the Smart Heart Partnering Process, they realize their desire for an entirely different experience. GET SMART WITH YOUR HEART will help women decide what they want in a relationship and help them to get it—systematically, intelligently, and successfully.

 

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